Title: Absence and the Heart
Characters: Will, Elizabeth, Bootstrap
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5x100
Spoilers: AWE
Summary: The effects of the passage of time
Author's Notes: I used five prompts from my fanfic100 table to write this, though they don’t count for the challenge since they aren’t J/E. Unless you squint. :-) Many thanks to![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
geek_mama_2 for the beta! Cross-posted to ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
pirategasm.
Absence and the Heart
Hours
In some ways, the initial parting is easiest. Suffused in love, aglow with satisfaction, and proud of the summons of destiny. There is the momentary conviction that such purity of spirit will enable a decade to pass as swiftly as a breeze.
The sentiment vanishes when he sets foot on deck, the realization settling that the Dutchman will be his sole province for years to come.
As Shipwreck Island is absorbed into twilight, he feels a pull in the hollow place in his breast, protesting the abandonment of such a vital part of him.
He does not sleep that night.
Days
She haunts him, face always in his mind, whispering words of affection. Her body, with all its mystery and enticements, causes his own to yearn. Secrets of pleasure barely uncovered, calling out to be explored. Love seeking to be expressed.
“Let her go.” Bootstrap’s eyes are kind. “Your heart is with her so that you can face the years ahead with less pain. It’s your mind that won’t let go. The Dutchman needs a captain, Will; let her be your lover, for now.”
He can acknowledge the wisdom of his father’s advice. Yet obeying it does not come so easily.
Weeks
When he realizes that a day has passed without thought for Elizabeth, he is shocked.
It stings to realize his unfaithfulness; to wonder if she has committed the same transgression, and if she hasn’t, when she will begin.
Atop self-recrimination he heaps doubts: is she safe? Is she well? Has she found a place for herself in this new world?
Yet the artificial questions refuse to take hold; he knows that as much as he always wished it so, Elizabeth has never needed him.
He is terrified to think that he might cease needing her.
His fears are for naught.
Months
When the loneliness becomes so keen he cannot rest, he goes to his father.
“Aye, it’s always like this. There are certain things you miss at first, but later, it’s the companionship that you miss most. If it makes you feel better, son, she feels the same lack.”
Yet the idea holds no comfort. He wants better for her, that she might not experience the same hollow isolation. Knowing that he has condemned her to it: a prison unintentionally hidden in words of commitment.
He wonders if she can free herself as she has before. If he wants her to.
Years
He makes a mark for one more year: eight past, two to come.
The time passes easier, now. His duty is his life; the sea, his lover. He has learned what place each element of his life must have, and with it has come peace. Elizabeth is a privilege, not a responsibility.
He allows himself the luxury of speculation: has she made a good life for herself? Is she still the pirate king? Has she found someone to fill the void of loneliness, to be a partner in her life as he no longer can?
He hopes that she has.
Characters: Will, Elizabeth, Bootstrap
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5x100
Spoilers: AWE
Summary: The effects of the passage of time
Author's Notes: I used five prompts from my fanfic100 table to write this, though they don’t count for the challenge since they aren’t J/E. Unless you squint. :-) Many thanks to
geek_mama_2 for the beta! Cross-posted to pirategasm.Absence and the Heart
Hours
In some ways, the initial parting is easiest. Suffused in love, aglow with satisfaction, and proud of the summons of destiny. There is the momentary conviction that such purity of spirit will enable a decade to pass as swiftly as a breeze.
The sentiment vanishes when he sets foot on deck, the realization settling that the Dutchman will be his sole province for years to come.
As Shipwreck Island is absorbed into twilight, he feels a pull in the hollow place in his breast, protesting the abandonment of such a vital part of him.
He does not sleep that night.
Days
She haunts him, face always in his mind, whispering words of affection. Her body, with all its mystery and enticements, causes his own to yearn. Secrets of pleasure barely uncovered, calling out to be explored. Love seeking to be expressed.
“Let her go.” Bootstrap’s eyes are kind. “Your heart is with her so that you can face the years ahead with less pain. It’s your mind that won’t let go. The Dutchman needs a captain, Will; let her be your lover, for now.”
He can acknowledge the wisdom of his father’s advice. Yet obeying it does not come so easily.
Weeks
When he realizes that a day has passed without thought for Elizabeth, he is shocked.
It stings to realize his unfaithfulness; to wonder if she has committed the same transgression, and if she hasn’t, when she will begin.
Atop self-recrimination he heaps doubts: is she safe? Is she well? Has she found a place for herself in this new world?
Yet the artificial questions refuse to take hold; he knows that as much as he always wished it so, Elizabeth has never needed him.
He is terrified to think that he might cease needing her.
His fears are for naught.
Months
When the loneliness becomes so keen he cannot rest, he goes to his father.
“Aye, it’s always like this. There are certain things you miss at first, but later, it’s the companionship that you miss most. If it makes you feel better, son, she feels the same lack.”
Yet the idea holds no comfort. He wants better for her, that she might not experience the same hollow isolation. Knowing that he has condemned her to it: a prison unintentionally hidden in words of commitment.
He wonders if she can free herself as she has before. If he wants her to.
Years
He makes a mark for one more year: eight past, two to come.
The time passes easier, now. His duty is his life; the sea, his lover. He has learned what place each element of his life must have, and with it has come peace. Elizabeth is a privilege, not a responsibility.
He allows himself the luxury of speculation: has she made a good life for herself? Is she still the pirate king? Has she found someone to fill the void of loneliness, to be a partner in her life as he no longer can?
He hopes that she has.